Non-native
speaker contribution. Pieces in this section may range from near standard English
to some with non-standard features in grammar or style. In general the editor
has not tried to amend such writing. Note that learning to write perfect grammar
in another language is much more difficult than speaking well, and for most people
is never quite mastered. We ask readers to enjoy the writing for its fresh viewpoints
and insights.
by Shin
Hello Again.
This is the second time I can see you in the magazine.
But, this might be the last time,
unless I break my leg or get really hurt, and then
fortunately they do not want to let
me in the Korean Army.
I want to think about Valentine's Day in Korea, but I
better tell you all I am distracted
about my upcoming life. It is winter now and I have to
go into private training. I think
many of you call this boot camp. Well, either way I
don't want to get chilblains on my
feet and hands (that is a fancy British word for
blisters), and going into the army right
now without having a girlfriend to miss me I have
blisters on my soul. Also I am way
out of luck because I did not get into the select
group of KATSUA (Korean
Augmentation Troops to the United States Army). I
don't know why this did not
happen for me. All of my foreigner friends tell me I
speak English well, but I believe
what my parents tell me also, encouraging me to carry
on with the ups and downs of
life. I guess all of this is just the way that the
fortune cooke crumbles in my English
speaking mouth. Actually I hate it when the Chinese
restaurant gives me a fortune
cookie; I just want them to sell JjaJangMien and
JjamBbong.
Whenever I tell my friends and different family
members that I'm going into the army
they tell me like, "Oh...poor thing. Sorry about
that."
My brother and lots of other people have gone through
it, and maybe they think that
making me a soldier will make me a real man. Well
that's what they told me about
drinking too, and all it did was remind me to go to
the bathroom a lot. And the next
morning I was still lonely. Last month I went out fell
in love and broke up with three
girls. I must have been looking to fill in my empty
heart. But something was not right,
and so I still haven't done out here what I desire to
do before I get in there. I want to
fulfill my physical desires. And once I am in there I
know I am only going to get stuck
in army stuff anyway. I'll have to forget I have a
heart.
I can count on one hand the days left before I have to
go into the army. It is easy to
think about a place where I have never been before.
I'm looking at all the circled clocks
in my art shop (this is where I first wrote to you
from), and the swinging second hand
is putting me into a state of hypnosis. The ticking of
reality is not leaving me alone. I
am now in a taxi for one of the last times and I don't
know where to get off. All the
bars and bus stops are just passing me by. Even though
in the taxi I can go where I
want. In the army I will be told what to do, and I
must follow without knowing my
own will. Back in the gallery I can dream about
getting myself to where I know I
belong. I can guess in some strange way that everyone
reading this right now knows
exactly what I am feeling, but that must be just an
assumption... the clocks on the
wall are ticking. I tell my friend Scott about this
and he just grins, telling me that a
broken clock can be right just twice a day and that
this is it's time. I don't like to
look at the wall of clocks anymore.
Okay, I'll see you guys again (I hope). I'll probably
be able to say how I can fire guns
and kill people like North Korean soldiers. I want to
appear next time in DDD as Boy
in the Barracks. Never again as Boy in the Gallery.
Call me Shin.
PS. I left you my shijo. I have to go.
[Editor's note : The formatting of this
piece has been left as received. TM]