It was around twelve on a rainy Wednesday
night when the bout began. The ring was the parking lot of my
apartment building here in an affluent blue-collar section of
Pusan. In one corner we had Ms. X, weighing in at 45 kilograms
and standing about 156 centimeters tall. In the other corner we
had Mr. X, weighing in about 65 kilograms and standing about 175
centimeters tall. Now this match had some special rules. I guess
the most obvious one, apparent to all the spectators peering
down from their lofty box seat apartments, was that one of the
fighters had to be intoxicated. Ms. X volunteered to be the one
this time.
The physical blows came after
the customary shouting of obscenities, and the typical posturing
from both fighters. Ms. X took several punches to the face and
head, while Mr. X occasionally got his hair pulled or was struck
by Ms. X’s secret weapon, “The Purse.” Ms. X hit the pavement
countless times while Mr. X barely stumbled. All the while the
referee, we’ll call her Ms. Friend, was trying to get between
the fighters to break it up, but it was a futile process. After
ten minutes of regulation time the match was forfeited by Mr. X
who we all guessed was tired from using his arm and fists so
much. He walked back to his car and drove off, while Ms. Friend
escorted the dazed Ms. X to her apartment. All in all a very
interesting Wednesday night fight. Far better I say than the
ones we see on the television. All of my neighbors seemed to
agree.
I told this story without emotion. I
was detached from the whole experience. I was only a spectator.
These kinds of fights go on around the clock, all around the
world right? It is the classic battle of man versus woman. I
should have no feelings. I should have gone back to sleep like
everyone else, but why did I sit down to write this story? Why
would I write such a description here on the editorial
page?
I feel wretched and sick to my
stomach. I am horrified and angry at what I have just witnessed
only a few minutes ago. I feel a deep moral despair to be a
member of this community. I live in a society that can calmly
witness such violence against women and simply go back to sleep.
If you have witnessed the same thing raise your hand. You
can see by looking around that you are not alone. How did you
feel? Did you think it was none of your business? Do you think
this behavior by men is in any way acceptable? If you do then we
will all have to share the rotten fruit that falls from this
tree.
You see I have a daughter, and if she wants to stay and live
here in Korea could I possibly trust this society to watch out
for her and to protect her from such vile men? I think we know
the shocking answer to that question. Why did everyone just sit
by and watch? No one called the police. The guards I pay to
patrol the property and to protect my family from such
gratuitous acts of public violence were conspicuously absent
from the scene. Would they have readily appeared if it were
their daughters on the receiving end of those punches?
I have heard Koreans tell me over and over
again that America is a land of racism, violence, and crime, and
that Korea is so very safe. Here in the “Land of the Morning
Calm” people do not have guns, and hardly anyone ever gets
murdered. How do we know? Well when these violent crimes do
occur here it is usually front-page news or is it possibly the
“powers that be” simply refuse to publish such events to
preserve the image of a safe Korea. I can see it now:
“Come to Korea and enjoy the clean rivers, the litter free
mountains, the quiet streets, the fresh air, the polite
citizens, the beautiful beaches, the wide selection of food, the
great shopping, strong men beating on women in full public
view.” Sorry if I sound cynical, but if I don’t make a
joke of it I could go insane. I wanted to write out my feelings
and observations here to help me clean out my system. To rid
myself of the moral filth my neighbors and Mr. X have thrown
upon me. I do not write this story with the intent to overly
criticize Korea. For the last six years I have lived in our
Korean community I have had a disgusted, constant awareness that
Koreans refuse to accept responsibility for anything. I have
reached the point in my stay here where I can no longer sit back
and be an idle spectator while so many people unwittingly pay
such a dear price. How many more men, women, and children have
to suffer alone before we start to do our jobs of protecting the
innocent and serving each other?
I for one
won’t be around to find out. Next year I’ll be taking my family
to a dangerous place called America. In America we have a clear
understanding of our personal and public responsibility. We see
all of our problems on the television every minute of every day,
and we admit to them. We agree something needs to be done. We
take action. We stand up for each other.
They say that change comes slowly in Korea. I guess so. In
the five thousand years the people here have had to make a great
and respected civilization what lesson did they never learn?
Well you do have to include civil to make civilization: civil
responsibility and civil
action.
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