Living in the ROK is pleasant. The people are
exceedingly civil and well-mannered.
Sometime in the not too distant past, with a bounce
in my step, I abandoned my previous prevarications of wandering too
far astray from the neighborhood on my day of rest and set forth on
an adventure, a first time journey to the shopping mecca of
Myungdong. Enticed by a friend's descriptive declaration as 'a must
see,' I agreed to tag along. After spending most Sundays in my small
studio apartment with the blinds down, it felt rejuvenating to be
out and about in the fine spring sun. We hailed a cab.
A few hours of being an appendage of a human
centipede was enough. We managed to break free from the crowd and
wandered on the fringe in search of sustenance. As the area caters
to Japanese tourists, there was a infinite choice of Japanese
restaurants serving the same bland assortment of food. We choose one
with a patio. After briefly perusing the menu, we both ordered the
sampler cutlet dish, offering the full array of deep fried fish,
foul, and meat with batter, salad, and rice.
As I was telling my friend that Myungdong was indeed
memorable, the quiet of the restaurant was unexpectedly invaded by
the screeching of tires and the expected grating and bending of
metal and plastic. Transfixed, we watched as the drivers opened
their doors and stepped out of their respective vehicles. Inspecting
the damage, they started to gesture and gesticulate, all the while
speaking in brisk Korean. I am uncertain as to what or why the
argument suddenly escalated, but suddenly the duo of voices began an
un-relentless volley of cursing. I will try to recollect to the best
of my ability the exact harangue of expletives issued by each
adversary, in this, an example of the astonishing civility of
Koreans.
A: "Thou should know when thou hast made a mistake.
Apologize!"
B: "What? Thou must be joking? Clearly, the
accident was thy fault. How is it possible to even fathom that I
should apologize to thee. Thou must be blind!"
A: "Thou art an 18 man!"
B: "What hast thou said. Mine ears have
failed me."
A: "Thou art a 10 man!"
B: "Thou hast gone too far, thou son of
dog!"
A: "Thou art a son of a ______ (list of
farm animals)!"
B: "Thou art an unlucky 18 dog. Shut thy
mouth!"
That's enough as I don't want to offend the young
readership, but I think you get the point. However, did you notice
the strict adherence to Korean standards of propriety. Truly it is
fascinating how Koreans, while screaming and turning red in the
face, continue to address each other in the formal. The incongruity
of the situation; swearing while being proper, the antithesis of
being vehement and well-mannered at the same time. What a wonderful
world of contradictions. Koreans really do know how to be civil,
even under the greatest duress.
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